Mommy Tag!

I was tagged by the lovely Rebecca, who has an amazingly beautiful blog. Go and check her out!

Here are the questions:

• Are you a stay at home mum or a working mum?

At the moment I’m a stay at home mum but I’m studying a degree at university so I wouldn’t like to work at the moment as half my week is filled with uni.

• Do you co sleep?

Yes! I used to feel guilty because everyone would say to me ‘he’ll be in your bed when he’s 15!” As banter but I’ve educated myself with co-sleeping. When he’s 3 I’ll try and get him into his own bed and see how he gets on. I breastfeed so co-sleeping is so much easier to feed and it’s amazing in the morning when he’s trying to give me kisses and pokes my face to get me to wake up.

• Would you have it any other way?

No I love Ky it’s hard at times but I couldn’t imagine life without him

• What is your one must have item for your child?

Food honestly i know every child needs food, but I’m telling you when he’s hungry he kicks off major so I need at least something he can munch on.

• How many kids do you plan on having?

I would love to have a big family, I’d love to have 4/5 children, but because my sons dad has no involvement I’m worried if my son will feel like the odd one out if I was to have more children with his future ‘step dad’, so I have mixed feelings whether I want more or not..

• Date Night? How many nights/days do you go out?

Single at the moment but my mum watches Ky every Friday, so I can just chill at home or make plans with friends but if I’m honest I’m loving these chilled nights in bed watching animal documentaries 😂

• Your child’s favourite show?

he Night Garden

• Name one thing you bought before you had your child and never used it?

I would say bottles, I’ve only tried using bottles a few times but he’s refused them even now I’ve Night weaned him from breast he took the bottle for two weeks now he’ll go to sleep without the milk or bottle because he doesn’t like the bottle, it’s weird.

• Your child’s favourite food?

Chicken and seasoned cous cous

• How many cars does your family have?

None

• Dream holiday with your child?

I’d love to take him skiing when he’s older and to go on the Polar Express

• How has your life changed since your child has been born?

I feel like I’ve realised that I don’t know it all and I’m not as wise as I thought I was and that this is an amazing experience and to embrace it. I’d say I’m definitely more sensitive now I have a child, I cry at everything and I feel like I’m more confident at speaking to people.

• Finish the following sentence… ‘It makes my heart melt to see…

My boy pick up things I teach him and when he dives on me for hugs and kisses. It actually makes me emotional!

• Where do you shop for your child?

I shop in next, Zara for his coats and Primark.

• Favourite make up and skincare product?

At the moment I’m loving esteé Lauder double wear foundation I’m obsessed! Urban decay, maybelline, NYX and L’Oréal.

For skin care I’m loving garnier products lately and skin care from Holland and Barrett’s as they’re natural based products.

• Huggies or pampers?

ampers all the way!

• Have you always wanted a child?

es! People would say to me you’ll be a mum at 16. I’ve always seen myself becoming a mum.

• Best part about being a mum?

ow much love you have for your child and how much love they have for you. I also love the different stages you get to see. I love everything about the development and helping your little one be the best version of themselves possible.


I’d love to tag:

Sophie<Laura<Brittney<<<<
e you all enjoyed reading my answers and I can't wait to see what the responses will be from the people I've tagged!

Love,

Louise oxoxo

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Staying Organised With a Baby

When you have a child it’s so hard to keep on top of everything and sometimes that’s okay, because sometimes you really don’t have the energy for it.

Sometimes it’s okay to leave the laundry, to leave vacuuming and to leave organising the washing and ironing, but let’s remember to not leave it to the point where you’re pulling your hair out.

I will also say that it’s sometimes boring doing the same routine every single day. You can switch up your routine and by making days out even if it’s to your local park, library and to a friend or relatives house, getting out the house will make your routine less boring.

I’d recommend researching your local play and stay groups, speaking to other moms is like therapy I tell you because you feel like you’re normal after talking to them about how you feel. Also going to art and craft places for children, researching sensory and activity play for them and taking them swimming is also a good idea.

There’s plenty to do that will stimulate them and keep them occupied!

Anyway..

Here’s my tips that have helped me stay organised with my little munchkin pie, and I hope they help you.


Pack Your Changing Bag The Day Before

Honestly. Have you ever needed to go out the next day and you’re literally stuffing your changing bag with everything possible because you ”might’ need it without actually thinking about what you’re actually putting in your bag? It’s also the panic too and making sure you have all of your baby’s essential items.

Packing your changing bag the day before you’re due to go out is so much easier and having food ready in the fridge so you can just take them out the next day and pop them in your bag.

Packing your nappies, wipes, a spare set of clothes, a toy and your purse and items you might want in your bag will take away the stress of sorting it the next day. You’ll be getting yourself and baby ready anyway which is hard enough!

Set Both Of Your Outfits Out Just Before You Go To Bed

Kind of like the changing bag situation. There’s nothing worse rushing round looking for things to wear and then trying to figure out what you want your baby to wear. I normally check the weather the night before and pick out his outfit and put it on my wardrobe door along with my clothes (I normally leave my clothes in the bathroom on the coat hanger.)

Obviously if the weathers changed you’d change the outfit, or maybe get two outfits out ready so you’re prepared. Having an outfit prepared will be so much straight forward for the next day.

Buy Toy Boxes & Storage Baskets

For your little ones small toys and teddy bears, a toy box is essential so that you can put away the toys rather than them being scattered all over their nursery or in your living room. Even show your baby that you’re putting them away.

When my son was 11 months I’d say “put toys away then” and he wouldn’t do anything but just observe, id do this when it was bath time because normally I’d Bath, read and then it’s time for bedtime.

Doing this will intrigue them and now my sons 18 months I’ve continued doing this and he helps me put away his toys in his toy box. It’s nice when you’re child helps you tidy up haha.

Set an Ironing Day (Mines a Sunday!)

Who even likes ironing anyway? It’s one of the things that bugs me but I know it needs to be done.

I set a whole day where I can iron, I either ask my mum to have him for the day or I iron whilst he’s napping or when he’s in bed.

Depending on the day though if nothing’s gone to plan I’ll iron clothes the day before wearing them so they’re not creased. I find though if I get all my ironing done and his ironing done and on the wardrobe, there’s less stress.

Set Days For Weekly Chores e.g. Change Bedsheets On a Saturday

On a Saturday I’ll strip down mine and my sons bed and change the sheets and on a Friday I will polish everywhere, scrub the doors and handles, and I’ll vacuum the ceiling (yes the ceiling because cobwebs and dust). Setting days and spacing it out will not only be easier than just doing the whole thing in one day because your body will be in utter shock, but you will feel better that you’ve got these things done.

I normally change my sheets just before bath time and I try and get my son involved now that he’s walking. Before I would stick him in his bouncer or his walker, while I went on to do what I needed to quickly do.

Freeze Meals (But Remember To Take Them Out The Day Before!)

Freezing dinners can be such a great help. For example if you make a big dinner and you have left overs, it’s always great to freeze it. Such as spaghetti Bolognese, baby puréed food (in ice cube trays it’s such a great thing to do). You can basically freeze anything just make sure you do a little research.

Like I said about baby puréed food if you make your babies food yourself you can always put them in an ice cube tray, and freeze them and then defrost the ice cubes the day before when you’re due to use them the next day. This helped so much. It takes away the stress of constantly having to make dinner every single day, it’s a quick and easy fix.

Wait Until After Dinner To Vacuum

I’m not sure why but I used to her so stressed trying to constantly clean up after my son throughout the entire day. Now I literally let him trash my place until after dinner time (which is when I’ll normally Bath him anyway) and then I’ll begin to clean up properly.

I make sure I vacuum daily just because he picks up the bits from the floor, but I make sure I leave this until after dinner because there’s nothing more frustrating than vacuuming then dinner time comes, and the floods are ruined again.

Make sure you empty your vacuum though afterwards and pick up any big pieces so you don’t clog your vacuum.

Plan Meals Throughout The Week So You Have an Idea On What You Need To Buy

If I don’t plan what I’m having for the week then I will go to the shop and buy unnecessary things. I’ll also spend twice as much and come out with more junk than actual food.

Planning what you’re having for the week ahead and then going out to buy the food that you need will prepare you and you will have bought everything you would need for the meals ahead rather than just guessing and getting whatever.

Put a Load Of Washing On Before You Go Out or Whilst You’re Doing Dinner

Just remembering to put a load on whilst doing dinner or just before you go out is just cutting down your wash load. By time you’ve came back or by time you’ve finished or ate dinner the load will be done ready to hang out the clothes.

I always put a load on while doing dinner or if I’m cleaning the kitchen.

Sorting your washing into colour piles on the floor whilst putting in the loads is also less stress than going through your pile of washing and just picking out clothes then and there.

In The Morning, or Just Before Bath time Place Bedtime Things On The Bed

I’ve only just began doing this but it’s so straight forward to just get them from the bath, straight into the bedroom to get them changed for bed.

Every morning now I will make mine and his bed, and I’ll put a few nappies, his lavender baby powder and his bedtime clothes on my bed and a fresh towel ready for bath time.

You obviously don’t have to do this in the morning it’s just that we never really go back into my room unless it’s time for nap, but he goes into his own bed now.

It’s just so much easier to sort out in the morning rather than getting them out the bath then remembering to get their clothes.

Try and Stick To The Same Routine

When I say stick to the same routine, I mean breakfast, lunch, dinner, bath and bed.

I mean sometimes times will differ. I always make sure though without fail I will Bath my son around 7:30pm or 8:00pm so he knows bedtime is coming soon.

It’s good to keep a good bedtime routine around the same time so that they will go to bed easier.

Not all the time are you going to get them to bed at the same time all the time and sometimes they won’t sleep through which is perfectly normal. But you want them to be aware that this is now night time, so they’re mentally ready for bed and they know bedtime is soon.


Even though it’s hard to be organised with a child, it’s just nice to have tips here and there so you don’t get too stressed.

I remember the days that every day blended into one, everywhere was a mess and I was exhausted but as they get bigger it’s so much easier to get things done.

Like I said at the beginning it’s fine to sometimes have lazy days, you’re entitled to them but we need to remember to not let it get out of hand.

If you’re finding yourself too overwhelmed and you can’t get things done, ask somebody to help you. Ask someone to have your child so you can get the house or dinner sorted in your own time, or even if you just wanted a break the entire day, that’s absolutely fine.

Love,

Louise oxoxo

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Every Child Is Different

Each and every person is an individual being, with different emotions, different developmental goals and each of us will reach milestones at different stages.

Each of the child's developmental sectors (social, emotional, intellectual and physical) should be taken into consideration and parents shouldn't apply pressure on their child if they see another child hitting milestones. They will hit the same milestones at a different time when they are ready.

Who even knows, they might be focused on a completely different milestone such as walking, or talking (as the brain doesn't allow your child to focus on the two).

When one child is ready to potty train, another won't be. When one child cuts teeth early, one won't until a couple months down the line. Your child might walk early, but may not be great at speech just yet which can make you worry, vice versa, but once your child feels fulfilled and confident that they've reached their goal they will focus on something else.

There's so much pressure from adults and normally this stems from their doubt that they aren't doing a good job, this feeling is natural and we will always question ourselves.

It can also stem from other mothers constantly comparing their child to yours, or when you hear other children speaking well, see other children eating healthy or maybe down to your child being shy and seeing others be confident.

You must remember that every child is different you can always encourage them to learn new skills, and of course encourage them to become more confident and out spoken but never pressure your child because of others, in good time they will also hit that milestone.

When I moved out for the first time I was surrounded by young mums.

One kept comparing hers to mine because she had a child the same age, he was always a healthy eater, mine wasn't at the time, he slept through the night, mine still doesn't but she used controlled crying which worked for her but I'm uncomfortable doing that, and whatever my child was doing, he would always seem better.

This really began to play on my confidence as a mother until I did my own research, and instead of questioning myself I began to sit back let my child explore, I kept my old routine as I was trying to change things to how she did things which didn't work for us.

Each households values and routines are different too, what works for you may not work for another family.

I feel like adults should keep in mind every child is different. It's like when a child misbehaves I hear mums complain about the child instead of thinking "oh well, he could be teething", "she could be unwell", there could be many reasons why a child is the way they are.

I also hear mums say "her speech isn't good for two", "he isn't even walking yet and he's one", "she still breastfeeds and he's well over one now", she's made a rod for her own back by allowing that child in bed with her, I couldn't do it". Of course everyone has an opinion on everything but I feel like no one should judge or even come across like this especially when it's to do with the way a mother parents her child, and about children in general.

If parenting is positive, baby is healthy and happy and If that works for their child then great. If there's delay in speech or walking, let them deal with that. No need to add to their load of worries (as we already do as parents).

Be mindful, positive and always support your fellow parent. Times can be rough and if someone seems like they're struggling, offer a helping hand. They will be grateful and who knows you might be the one person to pick them up off the ground to continue with this magical journey of parenting.

Love,

Louise oxoxo

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Keeping Sane – Motherhood 

Having a baby, toddler or multiple children can be challenging.

It's not that it's hard, it's just extremely testing and it can be exhausting.

When they don't listen to you and do the opposite of what you've asked them to do, when you walk into a room and they've smeared food or something worse, all over the walls and carpets. 

When you think it's 6pm when really, it's 3pm, so your counting down the hours until bedtime.

Your house is a mess your washing hasn't been done in a few days, there's food continuously scattered everywhere after tidying up every single night and you're ever so tired.

You are a superhero, and even though it's testing and all these things happen during Motherhood, it shows how resilient you are.

If you have a relative, a close friend or neighbour who you trust to watch the children for a few hours just so you can get the house together, or relax in the bath.

It will matter, you don't realise what an hour of peace actually does for you.

It'll be even better if you have someone you trust to look after your child(ren) over night so you have a couple of hours to yourself so you can chill, do what you need to do and to finally have some you time.

As mothers we forget to look after ourselves, baby is always first of course but we need to remember to at least fit in some 'me' time.

Even if it's something simple like getting your nails done, getting your hair done, pampering yourself, making plans with a friend so you can get everything out, planning a day trip. Just something to make you feel happy.

I felt like the first year of motherhood was so difficult because I had to adjust to everything. I've always said my son is a blessing, I would never regret him and I prepared myself the best I could when I was pregnant, but once reality hit it felt like my world had broken.

This wasn't because I hated being a mother, I hated all the anxious emotions, aware and cautious of everyone around him and not wanting to leave him with anyone other than myself or my mom (for a few hours) that's not because I didn't trust anyone, he was honestly my world.

I was broken because of my circumstances, in the future if him not having his father around would effect him, if he'll feel fulfilled enough and will he feel happy.

Questioning if I was enough. But I can answer confidently, I am more than enough because I love and live for my beautiful creation and I do the best that I can.

But life isn't always rosey, and that's okay!

Accept bad days, and start the new day fresh and try and make time for yourself even if it's after the children are in bed, just being able to sit down and do whatever you want is an amazing feeling.

It's fine if you feel stir crazy. It's fine if you feel overwhelmed and exhausted! Social media doesn't help us when we feel like this because every mum seems to be doing a better job than us, but they have bad days too.

As long as you offload to your friends or family, or even someone you can trust will make you feel human again.

If your thoughts are too negative about life as a parent and you're worried, make sure you speak to a health professional so they can help you. It doesn't mean you've failed, they're there to support you and offer you further services you may not of even heard of depending on your circumstances.

We are only human we're entitled to feel a different range of emotions.

Go on long walks, offload to someone about your worries, go and arrange something with your friends, just make sure you do something to lift the load off your mind.

Love,

Louise oxoxo

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Breastfeeding For Over a Year: What now?

I’ve been breastfeeding for a year and 6 months! How time flies.

My son is thriving and I’m happy I’m continuing my journey with breastfeeding however now my son is one, I’ve been getting a lot of pressure to stop breastfeeding and to wean him by health professionals and by family members and peers.

However doing research on the Kellymom website, I’ve gained a lot of confidence knowing I don’t have to stop just because other people have different views on what’s the norm.

I’m being told by people continuously when I mention “I’m going to stop when my son decides to self-wean” that “he won’t self-wean, he’ll be on the breast until he’s 10!” Of course it’s banter and it’s them being uneducated in that department.

If you’re breastfeeding and wondering if you need to stop just because of their age, If you’re enjoying breastfeeding and feel like your little one isn’t ready to stop then don’t wean your child because of the comments from other people or health professionals unless there’s a problem with weight gain, or any health conditions that is interfering with breastfeeding.

I’d recommend to find a breastfeeding support network in your local area, or to seek advice with the breastfeeding support team and phone them for more information.

The longer you breastfeed the longer your child is getting nutrition and there will be a time where your little one will self-wean themselves from the milk when they’re fulfilled in other ways and drinking and eating well. Read more about self-weaning here

Also, if your little one isn’t sleeping throughout the night and people are telling you it’s because you’re breastfeeding, they’re wrong. 

If you’re uncomfortable to do controlled crying like myself, there is no need to do that. Even though it’s frustrating that your little one doesn’t sleep throughout the night, they will hit a milestone when they feel ready to sleep through the night and that’s without doing controlled crying and forcing them to sleep through. 

The reason I was put off controlled crying through the night was it apparently has negative effects on their emotional state. It causes baby to feel as if no one is going to meet their needs, there’s more information here.

However saying this, plenty of family members have done controlled crying and it’s worked brilliantly for them. I just couldn’t bare doing it.

If controlled crying works for you then that’s great, every family does things differently and it works for them.

Just because you’re breastfeeding doesn’t mean your child isn’t getting enough. If anything they’re getting more than enough, I’m not sure why people act as if breastfeeding isn’t a natural thing when your body produces it and your boobs know exactly how much your baby needs and what nutrients they need! Which is impressive if you ask me.

If you do want to wean your child, that is your choice but don’t think you need to wean if you are starting work or other factors because you can continue through expressing bottles or expressing and putting it into a sippy cup.

Your child might even not depend on it as much during the day, and may want it on the night which is the case for my son at the moment because he’s so active and on the go.

Don’t feel pressured to stop if you feel like you’re not ready or baby is not ready. Please seek more information to gain more knowledge which will also build your confidence!

Love,

Louise oxoxo

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Trying Not To Be The Judgemental Mom

Before I had my little one I was so open minded. 

I still like to consider myself open minded, but some things especially when it involves children, completely blows my mind.

Or, if one mum makes a little comment about something I’m doing, my routine or breastfeeding (9/10 I’m sorry but it is always about breastfeeding!), or about why they do controlled crying and why I should, how co-sleeping is bad and why I shouldn’t pick up my son, the list goes on.. – Back to point – I’ll find myself nit picking or judging how they do things with their child.

And I hate doing that because I do believe that everyone brings up the way they want to bring their child up, with their knowledge, their morals and what they believe in.

I would consider myself as a really nature-earth mum aka hippie! 

I like to think of things biologically.

Biologically, I believe as mothers, we are meant to have our children close to us. They’ve been in the womb for 9 months which is cushy and cosy!

So it’s mind blowing to me when people – especially the older generation – are so quick to tell mothers to leave their baby when they are crying because ‘they’ll make a rod for their own back’ even though that newborn cannot fend for itself or even communicate.

I hate societal views on parenting it really does not make sense. 

As mothers we have instincts and we know what’s best for our children, so why are people so quick to tell us what they think is best for our child? 

There has been times where I have questioned the way I do things.

Am I being too soft? Will my child be more independent if I just did controlled crying for goodness sake. Maybe I am always picking him up, maybe I should wean him off breastfeeding he is over one now?

That is only because of other people’s comments. 

But I am telling you once I do deep research. Once I gather my evidence I’m prepared to justify myself In effective ways.

One of the main things I find myself being judgemental about (recently) is the disapline of children.

I mean I’m still finding the best way for disapline, but constantly hearing mothers shout at their child, or telling them to go away or constantly telling them “no, no, no” but not giving them any other attention really irritates my soul.

Of course there’s times when you have no choice but to say no. 

For example my son is fascinated by the oven. He’s also fascinated by plugs for goodness sake. 

So I have to tell him “no!” Because when I’ve said other things such as “ouch burny!” he will quickly poke it and blow his hand and smile so he thinks it’s a game, which is so cute but on a serious level it’s not funny because he could seriously get hurt.

Also seeing children in winter with no socks on in their pushchairs or without a blanket irritates me. There just is no need.. This is what I mean by trying not to be the judgemental mum I wish I could shut off that part of me.

I am not the perfect mum. I question myself daily and I lack confidence but doing research has helped my confidence and I feel like I’m doing an okay job with my little one.

I think everyone does a great job with their child, and everyone has to do what’s best for their family.

I hope no one is offended by this post!

Love,

Louise oxoxo

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My Birth Experience – Share Your Experiences In The Comments

Hi lovelies,

I was thinking about my birth experience and a few people at play groups have asked me what my birth was like, so I thought I would write my experience and I’m hoping you’d share yours too!

My due date was the 15th of March 2016, but he arrived on the 22nd of February 2016, he was born just under 4 weeks early bless him.

It was a Monday when he was born, and on the Saturday my family threw me a surprise baby shower.

I had no clue what so ever, so I turned up with no makeup on, with scruffy clothes on and I looked like a hot mess. I was so unhappy because I was extremely uncomfortable and I kept crying on and off that day.

After the baby shower when everyone went, my cousin took one look at me and said “you look like you’re about to cry”. That was it, I started crying my eyes out, I couldn’t stop! I was so upset and uncomfortable. She then said to me “you’re ready to have this baby, I have a feeling you’re in slow labour”.

So on the Monday, my waters broke at 5am. 

I woke up in a puddle of water, I was questioning if I actually wet myself, so I popped up to my cousin and told her what had happened etc. She told me to go and wake my mom and that I need to contact the hospital because my labour could move very quickly.

So I woke my mom up. I had no pains what so ever, so we made breakfast and I was convinced that I would be like Kourtney Kardashian, I would be able to gracefully have a shower, pace myself, do my makeup.

No. Pain began to hit. And it was all in my back and it was no joke.

This was around 8am. I had phoned the hospital at 6:30am explaining my waters had gone, and they told me to go to the hospital for 9am If I’m not getting any pains and to my hospital bag because they would keep me in because I was 36 weeks.

So this pain was horrendous. I like to think I have a high pain tolerance level but labour pains are unexplainable.

Every contraction was exhausting from the get go. My back felt like it was breaking. 

When we first got to the hospital the midwife said to me “it might be a water infection” I completely lost it and shouted at her to check me because this was definitely not a water infection! 

I was 3cm dialated when they checked me. I went to run a bath to help the pain, but I couldn’t get comfortable because of my back.

I had signs a few weeks before of my mucus plug, but during my labour the full show was there.

When I was 5cm that’s when they moved me into a room and that’s when I could use the gas and air which was amazing.

I also had pethadine which made me very sleepy. 

Because my blood pressure was so high, and because my little ones heart beat was mimicking mine, I had to be laid on a bed with a monitor on my stomach, a heartbeat monitor on my baby’s head and also someone checking my blood pressure constantly.

When I got to 7cm, every time a contraction was coming my whole body would shake and I’d feel cold. My mom was scared that there was something wrong.

I opted for an epidural at some point and I had the man tell to me about having it and what he was going to do. If I’m honest the pethadine made me so drowsy I kept falling asleep on him and I remember saying “I am listening, I’m just closing my eyes” 😂.

I was very close to having a c-section.  

I got to 10cm very quickly, and that’s when I shot up alert. I needed to push! 

The midwife tried stopping me before checking me, and my mom stopped me because of what the midwife said. 

Because I was strapped to the bed and I couldn’t get up to move, the sensation was so intense I even begged her to let me go to the bathroom.

She checked me, and as I looked at her she was smirking and I knew she could see my baby.

She then gave me the ok to push, so every time she told me to push I did. It was so exhausting but at the same time my body had the urge to push it was such an unexplainable feeling.

When his head came out, I remember when I was pregnant people called this the ring of fire, and I would honestly say that was the second most painful thing in my whole labour, but it didn’t last long.

Soon after his whole body came out and we could hear him cry instantly. My baby was finally born at 1:31pm.

They put him on me for skin to skin and this was the most amazing moment of my whole life.

His eyes opened to take a look at me and I instantly fell in love.

He took his first feed and latched on straight away. It was all amazing, but also very quick because he was drowsy.


A lot of moms said that they needed an injection to deliver their placenta, but my midwife just massaged my stomach and it sort of just came out. I didn’t see it and didn’t want to if I’m honest. 

I was examined and was told I needed stiches. I had a lot of grazing and a 2nd degree tear. 

They numbed me which was actually the 1st most painful thing in my labour experience because the injections stung severely, and then they stitched me up.

The stitches were uncomfortable but they were the last thing on my mind. 

Afterwards they gave me tea and toast and told me that I could get up for a shower. Looking at my stomach flappy, and different now that I had given birth was so weird.

Throughout hospital, I struggled with breastfeeding. I felt that I didn’t get the right support in hospital but I got great support once I got home.

What was your experience when giving birth? Did everything go to plan?

Leave your comments below, I love hearing different experiences.

Love,

Louise oxoxo

Being a Mom: The Good and The Bad Times

My son is coming up to 16 months and I can honestly say it’s been such a pleasure.

He’s becoming so independent, ever so loving and ever so inquisitive.

He is very kind, loving and warm.

He’s weary of new people, but once he gets to know them he shows himself to be a confident, loving little boy.

And that’s all I wished for.

My hard work is paying off and I’m very proud as you can tell, however it’s not always been a day dream.

There’s been times where he’s tested me, when he teeths he gets really irritable, which isn’t his fault but when you’ve done everything possible and he begins to bite you while breastfeeding it really begins to have an effect on you emotionally.

He was rough with others to begin with, because he didn’t really have peers that were also walking the same time as him. He didn’t know how to be gentle, but with consistency and teaching him to be ‘nice’ and ‘kind’ to others he really has became mindful to others.

Every day is a different day. 

There’s at least one bad day in the week where I can’t be bothered to prepare dinner, I can’t be bothered to see my living room wrecked again for me to vacuum and put everything back in its place. 

I really haven’t got the energy to have a war with him whilst trying to change his nappy and not get crap everywhere.

I haven’t got the energy to make 4 different breakfasts because he refuses to eat anything.

The list goes on and on and on. But I’ve learned to accept those bad days, and I normally try to snap myself out of it or I go to my mothers for extra support.

It’s nice to go the play groups where there’s other children there for your little one to socialise.

It’s also nice to speak to other mothers about your feelings so you don’t feel like you’re a bad parent for feeling the way you do.

As long as you are doing your best, and making sure your little one is happy, content, warm and fed, you are certainly not a bad parent.

Be consistent, happy and mindful.

Also pick your battles and ask yourself is it necessary to shout at them in certain situations?

I hope you have a great week.

Love,

Louise oxoxo

10 advice notes for New mothers 

Do not feel bad if you want space from visitors!

Ok, I get that every single family member, friend, neighbour etc want to have a cuddle with the newborn. But you have just had a baby and you need time to adjust, heal and get settled in. Maybe you’ll only want one close family member or friend around to help out or perhaps you will just want some alone time to settle in. 

Of course it’s different if you are feeling really emotionally upset and are turning people away, then I do think it’s best to talk to somebody about how you are feeling. It doesn’t mean you’re not coping what so ever and there are people to help such as your Heath visitor or midwife.

If you genuinely do want space from people to adjust to motherhood and to get to know you’re little one now that they are born, don’t feel bad. If they were there for you, they will understand and allow you to bond and heal. 


Everybody is going to have an opinion on how you choose to parent.

Unfortunately it’s true and people will give you tons of tricks and tips on feeding, sleep routine, weaning.. The list goes on. 


AND
they won’t be afraid to give out their opinion even when it’s not wanted. If you want to do something your way as long as it’s safe, then do it your way and be confident in your decision to do so. 

Kindly accept their opinions/tips but don’t take them on board. Do your research, follow your instincts. Every household and parent do things differently as every child is different!


If you want to breastfeed/bottle feed then so be it!

It is completely up to you how you feed your child and you don’t need to answer to anybody. As long as your baby is putting on weight, is healthy and you are following safety guidelines I think the way you are feeding your baby doesn’t need to be explained. 

I breastfed my son and I’m still going, so I can only relate on that level. A lot of people will be happy to sway you from breastfeeding or try and give you advice when they have been poorly educated or have heard tales. 

If you want to breastfeed then do so, make sure you have a great breastfeeding support team to help you with any problems or enquires you have whilst feeding your baby and don’t feel pressured to stop before baby and you are ready due to other people’s opinions. 

Research on the Kellymom website really helped me feel confident after hearing people say “how do you know he’s getting enough?” “He’ll sleep better if you just gave him a bottle” “he’s one? And you’re still breastfeeding?” Also my local breastfeeding team really helped me. 

There is also a national breastfeeding helpline available to contact that I will link.

The same applies to bottle feeding. If you’re happy to bottle feed as long as you are safely following guide lines, baby is putting on weight etc then perfect. Other mums I’ve spoke to have told me they feel guilty that they bottle feed, but if your baby is well you should feel confident in your decision to feed and as long as baby is healthy, and happy you are doing a great job.


Keeping your baby close is not going to make a clingy baby.

I’m not sure if you have heard this but speaking to my friends who are mums have all said that they have come across this saying when their baby was a newborn including myself! 


Think about it
. Your baby was in your womb for 9 months. They were always close to mum. They know your voice they know your smell, they want to be close to Mummy. 

You will certainly not make a clingy baby if you want cuddles, allow them to sleep on your chest and if you pick them up. Do whatever you feel is natural and follow your instincts. A baby who is picked up more, attended to more and is close to mum is a secure and happier baby.


Age and circumstances do not have an impact on how well of a mother you are

If you’re a young single mum like me, no doubt people have judged you and spoke to you like you are naive and don’t know what you’re getting yourself into. 

Age has nothing to do with how amazing you will be at parenting. Just do your best and I swear by research and instinct! 

Never ignore your instincts. Your baby is an amazing bundle of joy who needs protection, warmth and a lot of love and you are not incapable of doing a great job just because of your age or circumstances.


It’s okay to not have your sh*% together some days

You have just had a baby you’re adjusting to broken sleep, this new precious life and also trying to keep sane at the same time. 

Your house is probably a mess and you probably don’t even know what day it is and the last time you actually had time for yourself to have a shower. 

That is completely normal. When you’re having one of those days when things seem to be on top of one another, just take it as a bad day. 

Leave the chores, forget the fact the house is a mess, get somebody to make you dinner, let somebody that you trust have your little one for an hour or so, just so you can have that hour to yourself. 

Invite someone over that you can talk to, do whatever you need to feel better.


The worst thing to do is to go online on social medias. 

We all have that one mother who were envious of because her hair is always sleek, her makeup is on, her house Is immaculate and her child is 24/7 smiling and never seems to cry but the truth is in reality that one picture took a second to take. Reality is, not every mother is going to have amazing, stress free days and that’s absolutely fine and don’t feel bad or guilty if things don’t go to plan that day. 


Talk to other mums

I was the first friend out of the group to have a child and whenever I spoke to them they couldn’t relate so I’d feel like a failure and as if I were an alien. 

When I began attending mother and baby groups, speaking to other mums I realised its normal to feel the way I do sometimes. It’s completely normal that my son is doing certain things and I stopped feeling crap about my parenting and began to get confident in what I was doing through speaking to other down to earth mothers.


Never compare your child to anybody else’s child

Even though speaking to other mums is great and you do feel human, but when they start saying things like “well he started walking at 7 months”, “oh well, my daughter started speaking sentences from 5 months” “he rolled over when he was a day old”. I mean what I’ve said is over exaggerated but it can make you feel like ‘well why isn’t my child doing this?’ 

Honestly the amount of time I wasted always worrying about my sons development, he didn’t crawl but once he started cruising and taking his first steps that’s when he began to crawl. Every single child hits milestones at different times. 

When one child is learning how to talk, the brain doesn’t allow them to learn how to walk at the same time, vice versa with learning how to walk. 

Every child develops differently as long as you are doing all you can and if you are concerned then speak to a professional such as your health visitor and see what they suggest but 9/10 they will reassure you that nothing is wrong as you are doing a great job.


Don’t feel bad if you want time for yourself 

As mothers we carry a lot of guilt. Having a baby, trying to cook, clean and keep sane is exhausting and every single mum deserves a break now and then. 

Don’t feel guilty for that as you are only human. Arrange with someone who you trust to look after your little one so you can have a day’s rest and to catch up on house work. Even if its for a couple of hours.


Enjoy the journey of motherhood

At times it will test you to the maximum at some points in the day. Your little one will also make you laugh so hard and you will appreciate all these amazing moments. 

Just remember they think the world of you and they love you so much. It doesn’t matter if you haven’t got the high tec stuff for your child, you’re all that they need.

Have an amazing day, 

Louise oxo

WHATS IN MY CHANGING BAG | PARENTING | LIFESTYLE | 7 Month Old

My son is turning 7 months this month, and there’s been times when I’ve been out thinking “I wish I had this, I wish I would of packed this” so if I know I’m going to be out the next day I try to pack it the day before so I’m organised, I can get baby ready and myself ready without worrying about the changing bag. 


My changing bag is called ‘Babymel Grace Changing bag‘ from John Lewis and I love it. It fits everything in, and it looks lovely.

Here are the things that I put in my changing bag which are essential.

Nappies: Of Course the number one thing. Anything could happen, accidents can happen and it’s not fair to leave your baby in a dirty nappy for hours. It’ll be uncomfortable for them. I take about 5 nappies just in case, and fit them in one of the pockets in my changing bag.

Wipes: Again something that is essential. If he’s sick, wet wipe at hand is handy. I need wipes in order to change him, wet wipes are handy for anything even myself! But we’re talking about baby. When he begins eating I will probably be using them all of the time. It’s a must to carry a pack of wet wipes in my changing bag at ALL times.

Baby petroleum jelly: I use this as a protection barrier when I change my child. I used to use Vasaline but switched to Boots baby petroleum jelly. I love it it’s exactly the same as Vasaline but stretches out better and is cheaper. This helps prevent sores and helps him not get sore from his nappy. 

Three toys: Distraction is handy when baby is close to tears and irritable. Toys are needed in situations when you need to distract them or keep them entertained. I put three of his favourite toys in my changing bag so if he gets bored of the one, I’ve got two more to keep him going! 

Two bottles: I’m currently breastfeeding at the moment, but I like to do a bottle of expressed milk just in case and a bottle of cool boiled water. It takes me an hour to express just 3 or 4 ounces. It depends on the day in all honesty I’m not too sure why because when feeding my child, he’s content and he’s gaining amazing weight so I’m unsure why I can only express 3/4 in one hour with breaks. 

Jar of puréed food: he’s began eating now, and the amazing thing about that is I don’t always have to go and find somewhere to breastfeed him. And like I said above its sometimes hard to express milk some days, and he loves his food so this is a must for my changing bag. Just don’t forget a spoon!

A reading book: He’s really into reading at the moment, especially the sensation books where they can feel different things such as fur imprinted in the books to go along with the story. It’s a great distraction and good development for them. If you think babies are too young to be read to, your wrong! It’s good to begin reading as soon as they’re newborn. It’s great development and good for a routine, such as if your getting baby ready for bedtime. Bath, then reading a book is good to help baby wind down. 

His red book: Anything could happen, I just love to keep it with me. The baby’s red book holds down any medical information and is available for doctors or nurses to write in anything they feel is important. You take this book to his injection dates at the hospital or doctors surgery. Not everybody brings their red book out with them but I feel at ease doing this.

Dummy: Again another distraction! If there is no hot water to heat up the bottles, or if I can’t breast feed my child there and then a dummy will keep him ‘satisfied’ for a few minutes until I can go back to my car to breast feed, or somewhere where I’m comfortable to breastfeed. Also the dummy helps him self soothe.

Two vests and Two sleep suits: Anything could happen. He could be sick all over his clothes so I would have to change him, he could get really messy and soaked when feeding, he could have an accident where I’d need to change him. Carrying two is important and always prepared. If I would only bring one pair out and he were to soak it with his dribbling again as he’s teething and hates wearing bibs all the time, then I would have no other clothes to change him in. It’s always good to be prepared!

A blanket: I always make sure I carry a blanket with me for his comfort and if the weather decides to dip as I live in England, I’m prepared by keeping him warm with the blanket. I use the blanket to cover up myself when I have to breast feed him in public.

Teething Solution: I could never leave the house without this. His teething is making him so irritable, so without this he would be screaming and very miserable. This helps numbs his gums and soothes them when they’re hurting him. I have Anbesol liquid as I find its better than the gel and you can get this at boots.

That would be it! 

What do you have in your changing bag? 

Louise.