Finding Your Inner Peace

It’s easy to get angry about situations, in fact it’s easily done we’re all humans but sometimes you need to pick the right moment when it’s appropriate to react, or whether the situation is even worth it.

I feel like the way to find your inner peace is to first, truly find yourself. Truly discover what you like, what makes you happy and keep learning things about yourself. You’ll be shocked with what you discover, it could be the smallest things that have an impact on your happiness. Such as a clean, tidy room. A fragrance, the style of a room, a book, a type of music that you love. The list goes on.

By identifying what makes you happy, you will know what to draw yourself towards, and by making yourself happy especially in your own home and for example getting excited about going home to read that book you’ve fell in love with, your energy is already happy and uplifted because you have something to look forward to, something to enjoy.

Hopefully you will get to a point in life where all you want is to be at peace, be happy 80% of the time. Of course it’s not possible to be happy 100% of the time. We’re humans we have these emotions, but see past what the situation is, look deep into it. For example..

My dad, I used to have so much anger in the way he deals with situations. How he just works and comes home and there’s no further communication. And that was his role in the family home but I wasn’t satisfied. He wouldn’t be aware of what each of us was doing and the only one that seemed to care would be my mum. Unless we needed help finanally or something very serious was happening he wasn’t involved and this was a man who lived with us. I now have a depth of understanding why he is the way he is, not giving him an excuse, but the way he was bought up and the effect his peers and family had on him made him tough. The mindset “you have to just get on with it”. So I now understand why he is the way he is.

My main point to my example is look deeper into the situation not just see it black and white. There’s a reason why people or situations occur, because of the individuals personal values and beliefs, and their own justifications as to why the outcome has turned out to be.

There’s no point getting angry over situations which you can’t change. Talking about the issue and letting go of this held in anger, will help relieve your feelings, but being angry and acting upon that anger won’t be damaging anyone other than yourself (and perhaps others around you).

If there’s someone in your life that makes you angry, upset or makes you feel bad in whatever way, if it’s possible the best way to deal with this is to distance yourself so you’re not taking in their negativity and their negative energy. As I’ve wrote in similar posts it’s hard to do this if they’re family, but whether they are or not you need to be and feel uplifted by those around you and if that means cutting them out of your life then so be it.

Once you begin to feel happier and uplifted 80% of the time, anyone or anything that disrupts this, you will notice instantly and you may be strong enough to distance yourself straight away because of the high you get from being happy.

Just remember this is your life, be selfish if you need to (but in a good way), make yourself happy and don’t feel bad if you don’t want people in your life who drain you or play victim about things but don’t want to change their life for the better.

Another way to find your inner peace is to practice meditation. I used to roll my eyes when meditation got bought up cause I didn’t see how sitting there in silence and being still can possibly help you. But it changes your brain the more you meditate which you can read about it here, and you feel more relaxed, and can let go of all the stresses that you’ve had to deal with during the day.

Find time to meditate even if it’s once a day for 5 minutes, if you do this everyday you’ll get better and focusing and silencing your overactive brain. It’s so effective especially if you over think, you’re gaining control over your body. If you’re unsure how to start meditating here are some beginner guides.

Do your research on the law of attraction and how positive thinking can really change your mind. It’s positive and will make you feel so much better. I love to think that ‘we’re spirits having an human experience’ so whatever vile situation comes up, depending on what it is, of course it’s natural to feel negative and be angry about the situation, but within two days or a few days later things resolve 9/10 of the time so it’s always wasted energy when I get angry, and also I’m feeling calmer much sooner than holding a grudge about whatever’s happened.

I hope you discover your inner peace and feel much happier.

Lots of love,

Louise oxoxoxo

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Sunshine Blogger Award!

I was nominated by the lovely Rebecca check her blog here, she is an amazing beautiful person and an amazing mother who writes an amazing blog, really do check her out!

Thank you for nominating me for the sunshine blogger award again, this makes me feel so confident in blogging!

At the end I’ll nominate some bloggers and set some questions to answer, before I do that here are questions Rebecca would like me to answer!

1. Name 3 Life goals you want to achieve.

• Travel somewhere magical that makes my sons soul light up, Receive a masters degree and I would love to get married one day honestly

2. One thing or person that makes you laugh.

• Stupid humour! I can’t explain it, unexpected spontaneous moments and when you look at someone who notices the same thing!

3. If you could go back in time to when & why?

• Hmmm id day 60s cause of the hippie phase but there was a lot of racism so wonder how they’d feel about a mixed raced hippie 😂 hopefully because they’re hippies they’d be peaceful, but other than that I’d love to be an adult in the 80s/90s the music, vibes just seem amazing.

4. Name one celeb you fancy. <<
ichael Ealy I can’t even deal with him 😍

5. 3 words to describe yourself. • Kind, Dopey and Drama queen

6. What’s your worse habit? • Getting moody over food and drifting off into other isles whilst shopping

7. What’s the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you? • When I tried on a top from newlook, lace to be exact, and I am telling you I could not get this top off. I spent like 20 minutes in the room thinking do I laugh or cry, so I had no choice but to text my mom the situation as she was outside, so she came in tried to help me out of this top and the top ripped 😂 it was so loud I could of died. We literally ran out of the shop cause we were so embarrassed.

8. If you had a superpower what would it be? • Ability to stop time

9. What is your favourite tv show? • Eastenders and Dr foster

10. Morning person or Evening & why? • I’ve converted to a morning person because of university, you feel more motivated and up for the day when you get up early in the mornings.

11.What actress/actor would you choose to play you in a film & why? • this is so hard because I don’t really know my actors/actresses as I don’t really watch movies. I cant think!

Here’s who I’m nominating:

Ames

Bronagh

Emma

Ashleigh

Amba

Here’s my questions to you guys: 1. Would you say you’re pessimistic, optimistic or a realistic person?

2. What’s your favourite song right now, and why?

3. If you could be anywhere right now where would you be?

4. What’s one memory that makes you smile

5. What’s your favourite thing to do that lifts your mood

6. What came first? The chicken or the egg

7. Do you believe in ghosts?

8. Do you have any superstitions?

9. What trait do you like about yourself?

10. Is there anything you would change about yourself? Why?

11. What’s something not many people know about you?

200 Followers?!

Wow 200 people following this blog that’s insane!

Thank you so much!

Before I even made my blog private for a month people were still visiting and liking my posts, and following me which made me feel so great and confident about my posts!

I can’t thank you readers enough for following me and taking the time to appreciate what I write, because this is all I want the purpose of my blog to be, to help, inspire and share lots of positivity.

I’m now settled at university and I feel like the people I’ve met on the course have made me awake again to my spiritual self the way I was a couple months ago, the optimistic side of me, the person who always learned some lesson or some sort from whatever I’m dealing with.

So with that being said, thank you for following I appreciate it so much and I’m so glad you like my posts and may more to come.

Lots of love,

Louise oxoxo

Where Have I been?

I haven’t blogged in a couple of months due to problems in my private life also getting used to university.

At the time I thought getting my self back to normality and sorting out my problems was far more important than blogging, as you know my favourite posts are to write about positivity to uplift people, but as I wasn’t uplifted myself I couldn’t possibly write authenticity.

Now things are going back to normal and I’m getting the hang of university I want to dive back into what I love the most, which is writing posts that are meaningful and to help other people, also I want to write reviews on products of tested and tried, I want this blog up and running again!

All my apologies for my lack of use on social media and on WordPress, also my lack of showing interest to other bloggers, I simply was not ready to begin blogging nor did I have the time as a lot of things were happening at once.

Thanks,

Love

Louise oxoxo

20 Things To Achieve Before I’m 30

I’ve been thinking lately of all the things I’d love to achieve in my 20s before I hit 30!

I think this will be great to be a reminder of all the things I want to do and it’ll be great to look back on.

I’d love to hear what you would love to achieve too!


1. Visit the Eiffel Tower

2. Complete university with a grade I’m extremely happy about

3. Learn how to love myself and be confident with myself no matter what others think about me

4. Learn sign language

5. Visit Mexico, Italy and Thailand with my son

6. Be in a career that I love and excited about going to every day

7. Help out a charity for young children and families

8. Meet new people who are real and positive and become close friends

9. Become a vegetarian then eventually vegan

10. Teach my son the best way possible to be compassionate, patient and understanding with others, and teach him ways to deal with stress

11. Finally achieve a Skincare Regime that gets rid of acne and my pigmentation marks

12. Volunteer more in the community and help charities especially for 3rd world countries and for children

13. Cook my own Christmas dinner!

14. Go on a girls holiday that will be one of the best times of my life

15. Honestly feel fulfilled within myself and acknowledge how far I have come and grown

16. Go on a safari in Africa

17. Visit Disney land Florida

18. Design my own positivity diary that could potentially begin a business

19. Become more connected spiritually and learn how to channel my positive eventful

20. Become more thankful for the smallest things and become well spoken & positive like Tyler Henry 😂


It doesn’t seem like a lot, but these things mean the world to me.

Let’s see what my list will be like for my 30s, and let’s hope that I get to be able to achieve these things.

I’d love to hear what you’d like to achieve in your lifetime.

Love,

Louise oxoxo

The Versatile Blogger Award!

I’m so happy that I’ve been nominated for my 3rd award for this blog! Thank you so much Lynsey for nominating me, you are honestly so lovely.

Go check out her amazing blog!

Here are 7 facts about me:

1. I had my son at 19 years old

2. My favourite movie is Fantastic Mr Fox I don’t know why but I love how rustic it is and I love The Vow it’s such a beautiful film.

3. I’m 5’7 so I’m very tall

4. Both of my parents are mixed raced, both of their moms are English and both of their dads are Jamaican

5. I love anything spiritual and holistic, my friends call me a hippie

6. I was that obsessed with Buddhism I was going to covert and researched in depth into it. I found zen names and saw Ekai which means ocean of wisdom😂because I was convinced I had all this wisdom at 17/18, which came a shock when I had my son, I really was naive back then, but the name lou-ekai stuck!

7. I have a beauty mark by my nose

I nominate:

Ollysmomma

Elephantsvoice

SavanaRae

Wanderlustamy

MyselfandJake

I can’t wait to read your facts! And I hope who ever is reading has enjoyed reading mine.

Have an amazing day,

Love Louise oxoxo

What Do You LOVE About Yourself?

It’s easy to put yourself down. I find I do it a lot to make people feel better about themselves, it’s complicated.

I feel like the more I expose my flaws and make them know I’m not perfect, the more comfortable they will feel, but it’s became a bad habit.

This post was hard to make because it’s hard to actually think of qualities that you love about yourself. I would love it if you could list at LEAST 3 things that you love about yourself. This can be appearance, your personality, your habits, your passion for something, whatever you want.

I’ll go first:

The 3 qualities I love about myself are:

How Emotionally Aware I Am – I feel like I’m so compassionate especially since having my little boy. I was always compassionate and caring towards people and their issues they may face in life, but since having my son I really take on a lot of emotion through what people are telling me. Sometimes it’s a great trait because i feel like people can trust me and won’t feel like I’m judgemental.

My Eyes – Only with makeup, but I love how my eyes look if I actually get my eyeliner right and if my mascara is fresh, cause I love how my eyes tell what I’m thinking, can’t explain it. I feel like you can tell a lot by my eyes, and if you observe other people you can read their feelings through their eyes.

My Sense Of Humour – I have the best sense of humour ever. I actually remember saying that I deserve a TV show. I love people who are stupidly silly, who actually don’t care to be daring and who actually laugh about everything and anything like me. I absolutely LOVE clicking with people like this. I also love when in a moment when something funny happens randomly, you quickly turn to look at someone to check if they ALSO found it funny then you both just laugh. They are the best moments ever!

So I’d love if you could get involved and give yourself some self-love.

Speaking about the last point really made me smile!

Be kind to yourself, I wanna hear what you love about you!

Love,

Louise oxoxo

5 Tips For When You’re Feeling Low

For me personally my emotions are like a rollercoaster and I’ve been thinking is this all in my mind? (Well duh it is) but what I truly mean, is what if this is what I’ve programmed my mind in thinking? There will be 1/2 weeks in the month when I class this as a negative, emotional week and In that week I’m an emotional wreck, my anxiety is so severe and my mind doesn’t switch off.

Within a couple of days I’m back to my normal self, I’m thankful and I’m positive it’s very confusing but I’m used to it.

Now that I’m in the stages of letting my emotions stabilise, i thought this would be a good post for people who are similar to me, or feel as if they’re completely worn out from their feelings, everything’s going wrong and your anxiety/depression is very much present.

I hope these 5 tips help you.


1. GET OUT THE HOUSE

I completely 100% understand when your anxiety, depression and when you’re feeling so low this is honestly the last thing you want to do. For me it’s just the dreaded thought people will see me, I look unhappy, my eyes tell a lot about my emotions and I do not want to talk to anybody when I feel deeply distressed.

I’ve found that going for a walk especially in the morning in open spaces, when you barely see people, it’s quiet and I don’t know why but the air is always nicer, it feels fresh and you just feel calmer, this always seems to give my overthinking brain a rest.

Even if it’s not in the morning, just getting out somewhere in the day will be a distraction and you will feel much better instead of staring at 4 walls all day.

2. WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN

I used to hear this advice a lot and it used to irritate me because I didn’t get the point.

I began spilling my emotions into my pregnancy diary which I can’t look at to this day because it makes me sick to my stomach reading how emotionally low I was and all the negative things that were happening (which is why some people say to burn whatever you’ve wrote).

Doing this when I felt like I couldn’t speak to people about how I truly felt about everything, really helped calm my mind.

I sometimes write down everything when my mind is full to this day, at the end of whatever I’m writing, I end up writing positive things or giving myself advice, because I’ve unraveled my mind on paper, deep, personal things. It’s therapeutic and it does help a lot.

If I was you I’d get something like a diary or note pad that looks pretty, and also a pretty looking pen. Something that looks great so you are motivated to write in it.

3. LET YOURSELF FEEL

I can’t stand negative and emotional days. But I’ve realised unless I truly feel and go through these days and I try to carry on as normal, it all hits me like a ton of bricks and my emotions are 10x harder to stabilise.

Let yourself feel as in leave the housework, chill in bed, stay in your PJS just have a lazy day. Order food, Watch sad movies listen to sad songs, pour your emotions out and just go through whatever your feeling.

This is completely fine and healthy as long as this doesn’t go into weeks of doing this every day.

4. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

Kind of contradicting the 3rd tip, but honestly I mean at the end of the day or whenever, pamper yourself. This sounds cliche and unhelpful but I swear when I’m overwhelmed, feeling lonely and just completely low in mood. If I just spend the longest time just sitting still in the bath, listening to music, even down to washing my hair, applying basically the whole bottle of conditioner, and painting my nails. Something distracting but also nice will make you feel better.

My favourite thing ever is doing a face mask and making myself a cup of tea. That is such a mom stereotype, but honestly I love tea so much that in itself makes me happy and I love the feel of my skin after a face mask.

You can do things such as maybe dye your hair a different colour, change your look/style to something you’ve wanted (I’ve recently had a fringe cut and I love it)

If you’re an active person maybe go to the gym late at night or ridiculously early in the morning so if you’re anxious you don’t need to bump into too many people, and this will realise endorphins which trigger positive feelings in your body which will boost your mood.

5. TALK TO SOMEONE MEANINGFUL

Another cliche point but I want to make things clear, every person deserves an amazing support network.

There is no point what so ever having people in your life who are not interested in your feelings, thoughts and emotions.

If you feel like you can’t talk to people in your life and you can’t be true to how you’re feeling inside then you need to question your network of people and connect with people who truly do care.

Talk to people in depth with how you feel who will actually listen to you, give their advice and sympathise with you, not someone who will brush off your feelings “you will be okay!”

Your feelings are valid to you and you need people who understand. If you feel like you have nobody what so ever, I really do think it’s best to speak to someone professional.

Someone professional like a councillor who will sit and listen to your thoughts and feelings. I love speaking to councillors but you have to find one who you feel comfortable telling things to, and actually feel as if they care about how your feeling. It’s nice because that person doesn’t know you and they can’t exactly judge you, these people are here to help you and you feel so much better talking about everything.

If you ever need to talk about things then definitely drop me an email, so you have someone to talk to: louekai@hotmail.com


Love,

Louise oxoxo

A Letter To My 14 Year Old Self

Dear Louise,

Even though this year will be heartbreaking, you will feel the effects for a long time, eventually the pain lessens and you will feel so much better.

You need to love yourself more and let go of the past of being bullied for your appearance and weight at primary school. Children can be so cruel and are unaware of the effects they have with their words.

You carry much more than your appearance. Your personality is amazing and you should be proud of how mature, compassionate and sensitive you are to others, because not many people are.

Stop worrying about being in a relationship and enjoy being young and enjoy the company of your friends. You will enter a negative relationship because of this, which will have a dangerous effect on your self-esteem and self-worth.

Having said that, you will get through it. You will become more certain about what you want and what you don't want in a relationship. You know the negative signs and you will realise that this relationship wasn't healthy.

Don't worry about drama at school. Focus on your education because everything gets forgotten once everyone leaves.

Stop being so serious! Read these books that changed your life at 17, 'the power' and 'the secret' and learn when you think more positively and act in a positive way, positive things will come to you.

You are perfect in every way, you need to stop wondering and being scared that others will think negatively of you. Love your own company and discover yourself. Live your life for you and embrace your own skin instead of chasing to look and be someone else.

You've got plenty of great experiences to come, whatever you do don't lose who you are and don't stick around people who make you feel insecure and negative. Be aware of the people who surround you, you will bloom into your own unique self, be proud.


Love, your 20 year old self,

Louise oxoxo

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My Goals For August

Its August already?!

This year is going fast, when I was a child the year seemed so long and time seemed to go on forever, but now I'm realising everything goes so fast.

Especially now I have my son, who will be two in February! Scary and bitter sweet.

I love seeing him grow and learn, he's focused and I'm proud of the person he's becoming.

Anyway,

I wanted to start aiming to hit 5 goals for every month, then reflecting on them at the end of the month, talking about whether I reached them, whether I'm working on it still or what stopped me from reaching the goal and maybe trying again.

I think this is such a good idea as I feel like my days are just over in a split second, and having time to go back on my posts and remembering my goals and reflecting them will be a positive movement.

Why don't you join in too? 

So here are my 5 goals for the month:

• Write every day in your thankful diary for the whole month

• Attend Breastfeeding clinic every other week to catch up with the ladies and to get comfortable enough to volunteer 

• Try to meditate at least once a week when Ky is asleep for the entire month

• Attend play groups often so you build your confidence 

• Finish at least one book that you had bought (How to be confident and How to be mindful) by the end of the month. 

Not too difficult.

Let's hope I stick to them!

What's your August goals?

Love,

Louise oxoxo