Self-Reflecting On My Blog

Looking at my previous blog posts makes me feel inspired.

I love the fact I write about positivity and uplifting people up, I love my nature as a person to be kind to people and to let things go over my head. I label myself as naive and that’s fine, but I’m genuinely a good hearted person.

In person ‘I’m not a confident speaker’, it’s 4am in the morning as I’m self-reflecting and I realise the more I keep saying I’m not a confident speaker the less of a confident speaker I will become, because the law of attraction does exist and I write so passionately about this on my blog, so why am I not practicing what I’m preaching!

Why am I so scared to openly express myself physically and openly but not afraid to express my thoughts on this blog?

Only one of my friends actually know that I host a blog and even with talking about my blog for the first time to someone in my circle, I felt anxiety rushing through me in case they thought it was stupid, which they didn’t.

We’re always so critical of ourselves and I want to break that.

I am a confident speaker I know what I’m talking about on paper, so why can’t I openly talk about things that I’m passionate about verbally?

I find when I go to university I’m quiet, I’m naturally a very shy person and overly polite to people.

I have one good friend that I discuss things with, but when I speak to my mom who knows every aspect about me, I blow her ears off about the course, about lessons I’m learning my ideas and what I’m going to write about in my essay, and she doesn’t know what the hell I’m talking about and doesn’t have a response to what I’m saying half the time.

My friend that I’ve known since October has already picked up a lot about me which I’m shocked about because I am naturally a shy person so I feel as if I appear to be closed down, but she’s read me and says what I’m thinking majority of the time and is also into spirituality.

We’re similar in a lot of ways and I do feel comfortable expressing myself 1 to 1 to her outside the classroom, but what she’s excellent at is verbally expressing herself in class, not caring what other people think or whether people understand her perspective, which I admire.

I thought when I began writing this self reflection post it was going to be sad, but I’m actually feeling empowered and motivated right now

The more I speak openly about things the better and more confident I will become about expressing myself, and I shouldn’t have to be afraid of what others think and afraid that I’m not making sense because life is a huge learning curve.

I look back to the times before I had my son, and I was full of fire, I confidently expressed myself I didn’t care what anybody thought and I was headstrong.

I have to honestly admit I was convinced I knew everything, I thought I was mature for my age which I was but in a lot of ways I had a lot of growing up to do and also bad qualities I needed to get rid of.

Motherhood has made me strong in some aspects, but I think in other ways it’s softened me which isn’t a bad thing because I’ve became a more emotionally aware person because of my own life experience as a mother.

Because of the fight I have inside me about my own son and the constant insecure thoughts ‘am I doing a good job’, ‘am I doing enough’ followed with overthinking thoughts about his future and actually knowing I have no control over bad things necessarily happening when he’s older (e.g. negative life experiences from peers) has made my reality scary although I know deep down it’s just the voice in my mind exaggerating a lot of things causing doubt.

I have turned into a control freak in many ways. I’d rather sit there and be quiet, not express myself because I’m comfortable in that spot, I’m controlling the situation in a way because I’m choosing to not go out of my comfort zone because I know if I express myself in that moment and someone tries to challenge me, it will make me uncomfortable.

Im more comfortable sitting on the back shelf rather than being confident and expressing myself openly, no matter how uncomfortable I am, and my friend says to me all the time: ‘Comfort does not enable growth’ and this is so true.

I’m hoping this year I will get better at verbally speaking out. I’m a very introverted person, and I love to have discussions 1 to 1 rather than in a group. I will get better at this and become more confident in myself.

Hopefully I will bloom this year into a better and confident person, an evolved Louise from previous years, with better qualities.

Does anyone else feel like 2018 is going to be positive? Maybe it’s because it’s still January and I’m being cliche, or maybe it’s the 8.. who knows lol

I hope you have a lovely day who ever may be reading this

It’s always positive to self-reflect 🙂

Love,

Louise oxoxo

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My New Year Resolutions

Hello,

Late post as it’s nearly the end of January, but we’re still in January so it still counts!

Every year I used to hate people talking about their new year resolutions because I used to think it was cliche, and no one ever sticks to them.

But I decided to finally make 5 new year resolutions easy for me to actually achieve and I’m following them well so far.

1. Stop Worrying About What Other People Think – as a heavy over-thinker I think in the previous years if somebody didn’t like me, or had something negative to say about me I’d always try to prove them wrong. But you can’t please everyone and if someone actually took the time to get to know me, they’d realise I’m actually not that bad, so this year I’m making this my priority.

2. Become Vegetarian – Not so easy but I’m so educated as to why I want to be a vegetarian, it’s something that I definitely want to achieve by the end of the year. Honestly I’d love to be vegan but I want to start off slow. I’ve been practicing meals without meat, and I’ve been researching loads into it. Definitely a goal of mine.

3. Stop Being So Self Conscious – This is hard for me but it’s something I’m practicing now and I’m already getting better at it. The same as the first resolution, I care too much about what people think, and I have bouts of anxiety especially when I’m out by myself it’s something I’m trying to get under control. I’ve learned already that if I let those feelings inside take control I start to act withdrawn and shy and I can’t make eye contact, I can’t stand it when I feel this way because it’s obvious and looks like I’m being rude. This is a major one to accomplish this year and I’ve been doing little changes to improve this. The quote above is exactly how it is with my insecurities and self consciousness but I’m overcoming it, it’s not a way to live

4. Get To Know Myself – As much as I used to preach on this blog about positivity, and finding yourself and all those posts were authentic and true, but I never practice what I preach, but this year I am. Instead of being anxious about the future, I want to discover myself again, I want to enjoy my own company and ultimately love myself. I think this is important.

5. Become More Holistic – Along side the becoming vegetarian, I want to practice holistic remedies frequently. Such as I want to stop using perfume and implement essential oils so that I’m cutting out the toxins in perfume. I basically want to transform into Jhene Aiko this year. I want to wear less makeup, I want to clear my acne through clean eating and natural remedies and I want to meditate and water a million plants in my flat, honestly that is what I want this year lol.

So yes, these are my five new year resolutions. I mean I’ve said ‘easy for me to achieve’ but they are actually difficult. But I know this year I will achieve this as I’m already doing subtle changes.

I know that doing these things will make me happier as a person and will transform me into my greatest self.

So hope you’ve loved reading my new year resolutions, have you made any for this year? I’d love to hear, and are you sticking to them?

Love,

Louise oxoxo

Update: Where Have I Been?

It’s been since November since I’ve posted!

And I know this is the second where have I been post i’m just adjusting to life!

I’ve honestly neglected my blog so much, university has been a huge shock for me because I’m constantly researching, doing assignments and also I have to play Mommy once I come out of university, so most of my work is done on the night which I used to spend making blog posts.

Now that I’ve settled into university, and now things are much more organised especially in the mom department, my son should be settled with a childminder soon, I should have much more free time.

As I’ve logged into this I’ve noticed I’ve received more followers and more views on my blog posts so I’m thankful for that considering my blog posts have been non existent since November, I hope you have enjoyed my posts

So yes, hopefully I’ll be making more posts, and I should have more free time doing what I enjoy, I hope everyone has had an amazing Christmas xoxo

Love,

Louise oxoxo

Sunshine Blogger Award!

I was nominated by the lovely Rebecca check her blog here, she is an amazing beautiful person and an amazing mother who writes an amazing blog, really do check her out!

Thank you for nominating me for the sunshine blogger award again, this makes me feel so confident in blogging!

At the end I’ll nominate some bloggers and set some questions to answer, before I do that here are questions Rebecca would like me to answer!

1. Name 3 Life goals you want to achieve.

• Travel somewhere magical that makes my sons soul light up, Receive a masters degree and I would love to get married one day honestly

2. One thing or person that makes you laugh.

• Stupid humour! I can’t explain it, unexpected spontaneous moments and when you look at someone who notices the same thing!

3. If you could go back in time to when & why?

• Hmmm id day 60s cause of the hippie phase but there was a lot of racism so wonder how they’d feel about a mixed raced hippie 😂 hopefully because they’re hippies they’d be peaceful, but other than that I’d love to be an adult in the 80s/90s the music, vibes just seem amazing.

4. Name one celeb you fancy. <<
ichael Ealy I can’t even deal with him 😍

5. 3 words to describe yourself. • Kind, Dopey and Drama queen

6. What’s your worse habit? • Getting moody over food and drifting off into other isles whilst shopping

7. What’s the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you? • When I tried on a top from newlook, lace to be exact, and I am telling you I could not get this top off. I spent like 20 minutes in the room thinking do I laugh or cry, so I had no choice but to text my mom the situation as she was outside, so she came in tried to help me out of this top and the top ripped 😂 it was so loud I could of died. We literally ran out of the shop cause we were so embarrassed.

8. If you had a superpower what would it be? • Ability to stop time

9. What is your favourite tv show? • Eastenders and Dr foster

10. Morning person or Evening & why? • I’ve converted to a morning person because of university, you feel more motivated and up for the day when you get up early in the mornings.

11.What actress/actor would you choose to play you in a film & why? • this is so hard because I don’t really know my actors/actresses as I don’t really watch movies. I cant think!

Here’s who I’m nominating:

Ames

Bronagh

Emma

Ashleigh

Amba

Here’s my questions to you guys: 1. Would you say you’re pessimistic, optimistic or a realistic person?

2. What’s your favourite song right now, and why?

3. If you could be anywhere right now where would you be?

4. What’s one memory that makes you smile

5. What’s your favourite thing to do that lifts your mood

6. What came first? The chicken or the egg

7. Do you believe in ghosts?

8. Do you have any superstitions?

9. What trait do you like about yourself?

10. Is there anything you would change about yourself? Why?

11. What’s something not many people know about you?

200 Followers?!

Wow 200 people following this blog that’s insane!

Thank you so much!

Before I even made my blog private for a month people were still visiting and liking my posts, and following me which made me feel so great and confident about my posts!

I can’t thank you readers enough for following me and taking the time to appreciate what I write, because this is all I want the purpose of my blog to be, to help, inspire and share lots of positivity.

I’m now settled at university and I feel like the people I’ve met on the course have made me awake again to my spiritual self the way I was a couple months ago, the optimistic side of me, the person who always learned some lesson or some sort from whatever I’m dealing with.

So with that being said, thank you for following I appreciate it so much and I’m so glad you like my posts and may more to come.

Lots of love,

Louise oxoxo

Where Have I been?

I haven’t blogged in a couple of months due to problems in my private life also getting used to university.

At the time I thought getting my self back to normality and sorting out my problems was far more important than blogging, as you know my favourite posts are to write about positivity to uplift people, but as I wasn’t uplifted myself I couldn’t possibly write authenticity.

Now things are going back to normal and I’m getting the hang of university I want to dive back into what I love the most, which is writing posts that are meaningful and to help other people, also I want to write reviews on products of tested and tried, I want this blog up and running again!

All my apologies for my lack of use on social media and on WordPress, also my lack of showing interest to other bloggers, I simply was not ready to begin blogging nor did I have the time as a lot of things were happening at once.

Thanks,

Love

Louise oxoxo

20 Things To Achieve Before I’m 30

I’ve been thinking lately of all the things I’d love to achieve in my 20s before I hit 30!

I think this will be great to be a reminder of all the things I want to do and it’ll be great to look back on.

I’d love to hear what you would love to achieve too!


1. Visit the Eiffel Tower

2. Complete university with a grade I’m extremely happy about

3. Learn how to love myself and be confident with myself no matter what others think about me

4. Learn sign language

5. Visit Mexico, Italy and Thailand with my son

6. Be in a career that I love and excited about going to every day

7. Help out a charity for young children and families

8. Meet new people who are real and positive and become close friends

9. Become a vegetarian then eventually vegan

10. Teach my son the best way possible to be compassionate, patient and understanding with others, and teach him ways to deal with stress

11. Finally achieve a Skincare Regime that gets rid of acne and my pigmentation marks

12. Volunteer more in the community and help charities especially for 3rd world countries and for children

13. Cook my own Christmas dinner!

14. Go on a girls holiday that will be one of the best times of my life

15. Honestly feel fulfilled within myself and acknowledge how far I have come and grown

16. Go on a safari in Africa

17. Visit Disney land Florida

18. Design my own positivity diary that could potentially begin a business

19. Become more connected spiritually and learn how to channel my positive eventful

20. Become more thankful for the smallest things and become well spoken & positive like Tyler Henry 😂


It doesn’t seem like a lot, but these things mean the world to me.

Let’s see what my list will be like for my 30s, and let’s hope that I get to be able to achieve these things.

I’d love to hear what you’d like to achieve in your lifetime.

Love,

Louise oxoxo

The Versatile Blogger Award!

I’m so happy that I’ve been nominated for my 3rd award for this blog! Thank you so much Lynsey for nominating me, you are honestly so lovely.

Go check out her amazing blog!

Here are 7 facts about me:

1. I had my son at 19 years old

2. My favourite movie is Fantastic Mr Fox I don’t know why but I love how rustic it is and I love The Vow it’s such a beautiful film.

3. I’m 5’7 so I’m very tall

4. Both of my parents are mixed raced, both of their moms are English and both of their dads are Jamaican

5. I love anything spiritual and holistic, my friends call me a hippie

6. I was that obsessed with Buddhism I was going to covert and researched in depth into it. I found zen names and saw Ekai which means ocean of wisdom😂because I was convinced I had all this wisdom at 17/18, which came a shock when I had my son, I really was naive back then, but the name lou-ekai stuck!

7. I have a beauty mark by my nose

I nominate:

Ollysmomma

Elephantsvoice

SavanaRae

Wanderlustamy

MyselfandJake

I can’t wait to read your facts! And I hope who ever is reading has enjoyed reading mine.

Have an amazing day,

Love Louise oxoxo

What Do You LOVE About Yourself?

It’s easy to put yourself down. I find I do it a lot to make people feel better about themselves, it’s complicated.

I feel like the more I expose my flaws and make them know I’m not perfect, the more comfortable they will feel, but it’s became a bad habit.

This post was hard to make because it’s hard to actually think of qualities that you love about yourself. I would love it if you could list at LEAST 3 things that you love about yourself. This can be appearance, your personality, your habits, your passion for something, whatever you want.

I’ll go first:

The 3 qualities I love about myself are:

How Emotionally Aware I Am – I feel like I’m so compassionate especially since having my little boy. I was always compassionate and caring towards people and their issues they may face in life, but since having my son I really take on a lot of emotion through what people are telling me. Sometimes it’s a great trait because i feel like people can trust me and won’t feel like I’m judgemental.

My Eyes – Only with makeup, but I love how my eyes look if I actually get my eyeliner right and if my mascara is fresh, cause I love how my eyes tell what I’m thinking, can’t explain it. I feel like you can tell a lot by my eyes, and if you observe other people you can read their feelings through their eyes.

My Sense Of Humour – I have the best sense of humour ever. I actually remember saying that I deserve a TV show. I love people who are stupidly silly, who actually don’t care to be daring and who actually laugh about everything and anything like me. I absolutely LOVE clicking with people like this. I also love when in a moment when something funny happens randomly, you quickly turn to look at someone to check if they ALSO found it funny then you both just laugh. They are the best moments ever!

So I’d love if you could get involved and give yourself some self-love.

Speaking about the last point really made me smile!

Be kind to yourself, I wanna hear what you love about you!

Love,

Louise oxoxo

5 Tips For When You’re Feeling Low

For me personally my emotions are like a rollercoaster and I’ve been thinking is this all in my mind? (Well duh it is) but what I truly mean, is what if this is what I’ve programmed my mind in thinking? There will be 1/2 weeks in the month when I class this as a negative, emotional week and In that week I’m an emotional wreck, my anxiety is so severe and my mind doesn’t switch off.

Within a couple of days I’m back to my normal self, I’m thankful and I’m positive it’s very confusing but I’m used to it.

Now that I’m in the stages of letting my emotions stabilise, i thought this would be a good post for people who are similar to me, or feel as if they’re completely worn out from their feelings, everything’s going wrong and your anxiety/depression is very much present.

I hope these 5 tips help you.


1. GET OUT THE HOUSE

I completely 100% understand when your anxiety, depression and when you’re feeling so low this is honestly the last thing you want to do. For me it’s just the dreaded thought people will see me, I look unhappy, my eyes tell a lot about my emotions and I do not want to talk to anybody when I feel deeply distressed.

I’ve found that going for a walk especially in the morning in open spaces, when you barely see people, it’s quiet and I don’t know why but the air is always nicer, it feels fresh and you just feel calmer, this always seems to give my overthinking brain a rest.

Even if it’s not in the morning, just getting out somewhere in the day will be a distraction and you will feel much better instead of staring at 4 walls all day.

2. WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN

I used to hear this advice a lot and it used to irritate me because I didn’t get the point.

I began spilling my emotions into my pregnancy diary which I can’t look at to this day because it makes me sick to my stomach reading how emotionally low I was and all the negative things that were happening (which is why some people say to burn whatever you’ve wrote).

Doing this when I felt like I couldn’t speak to people about how I truly felt about everything, really helped calm my mind.

I sometimes write down everything when my mind is full to this day, at the end of whatever I’m writing, I end up writing positive things or giving myself advice, because I’ve unraveled my mind on paper, deep, personal things. It’s therapeutic and it does help a lot.

If I was you I’d get something like a diary or note pad that looks pretty, and also a pretty looking pen. Something that looks great so you are motivated to write in it.

3. LET YOURSELF FEEL

I can’t stand negative and emotional days. But I’ve realised unless I truly feel and go through these days and I try to carry on as normal, it all hits me like a ton of bricks and my emotions are 10x harder to stabilise.

Let yourself feel as in leave the housework, chill in bed, stay in your PJS just have a lazy day. Order food, Watch sad movies listen to sad songs, pour your emotions out and just go through whatever your feeling.

This is completely fine and healthy as long as this doesn’t go into weeks of doing this every day.

4. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

Kind of contradicting the 3rd tip, but honestly I mean at the end of the day or whenever, pamper yourself. This sounds cliche and unhelpful but I swear when I’m overwhelmed, feeling lonely and just completely low in mood. If I just spend the longest time just sitting still in the bath, listening to music, even down to washing my hair, applying basically the whole bottle of conditioner, and painting my nails. Something distracting but also nice will make you feel better.

My favourite thing ever is doing a face mask and making myself a cup of tea. That is such a mom stereotype, but honestly I love tea so much that in itself makes me happy and I love the feel of my skin after a face mask.

You can do things such as maybe dye your hair a different colour, change your look/style to something you’ve wanted (I’ve recently had a fringe cut and I love it)

If you’re an active person maybe go to the gym late at night or ridiculously early in the morning so if you’re anxious you don’t need to bump into too many people, and this will realise endorphins which trigger positive feelings in your body which will boost your mood.

5. TALK TO SOMEONE MEANINGFUL

Another cliche point but I want to make things clear, every person deserves an amazing support network.

There is no point what so ever having people in your life who are not interested in your feelings, thoughts and emotions.

If you feel like you can’t talk to people in your life and you can’t be true to how you’re feeling inside then you need to question your network of people and connect with people who truly do care.

Talk to people in depth with how you feel who will actually listen to you, give their advice and sympathise with you, not someone who will brush off your feelings “you will be okay!”

Your feelings are valid to you and you need people who understand. If you feel like you have nobody what so ever, I really do think it’s best to speak to someone professional.

Someone professional like a councillor who will sit and listen to your thoughts and feelings. I love speaking to councillors but you have to find one who you feel comfortable telling things to, and actually feel as if they care about how your feeling. It’s nice because that person doesn’t know you and they can’t exactly judge you, these people are here to help you and you feel so much better talking about everything.

If you ever need to talk about things then definitely drop me an email, so you have someone to talk to: louekai@hotmail.com


Love,

Louise oxoxo