Upcoming Projects! 

I’ve been trying to post more on twitter and I’ve contacted a few bloggers to collaborate with or to write a post for their blog!

So far I’m in the middle of writing two guest posts on two different subjects and I’m awaiting to hear further responses from others.

There’s a few posts that are coming out on my blog which are schedualled, but if I’m not as active as normal it’s just because I’m trying to fit in all these projects & also spending time with little one!

If you’d like me to write a guest post on anything, or if you’d like to collab with me for a project feel free to drop me an email, I’d love to hear your ideas!

Louekai@hotmail.com

Lots of love,

Louise oxox 

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Patience Is A Virtue..

It’s ever so hard to be patient all the time.

Well.. You have no choice but the be patient with certain things.

Such as finding love, genuine love. Getting the job you’ve always wanted and maybe getting the qualifications you wanted.

But how frustrating is it having to wait for something you crave to have in your life right now?

It’s great to be positive, and it’s great to be patient. But some days you get a sense of panic that you haven’t got your life together, why haven’t you got all these things in place now? What have you been doing all this time.

This is how I feel right now.

Then I realise, 

I’m 20 years old. I have so much time stop panicking. Ok I have a child, doesn’t mean anything. He came early, that is all.

At the moment I’m craving love, but I’m conflicting in my brain telling myself wait until after university, and I also don’t want just anybody around my son. Just so many conflicting views spinning around my head.

Then I look back at the past, when I quit my last year of sixth form. Ok I have half a qualification. But I wouldn’t have to do 4 years at university of I would of just done the full second year.

All this panic and anxiety about my choices. But I am blessed.. Even though I don’t feel it.


Strangely enough, two of my friends and my brother feel this anxiety too. 

Debating to quit education, whether to just go straight into a job, craving love, etc.

They’re just looking at their choices.

The anxiety will pass. I think it’s just a test of the brain. If you are patient and stick to something (if you know it’s worth it and know you’re enjoying whatever it is your pursuing) then great things will come out of it.

Is anybody else getting anxious feelings about the future? 

Love,

Louise oxoxo

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Overthinking.

Even though I write about positivity like I’m skipping through a field full of flowers, sometimes you can’t stop your mind overpowering your emotions.

Right now I’m wide awake, emotionally distraught over materialistic things. 

I’m anxious about the future, not doing enough for my son and my head is so full of things I need to sort out, I wish I could just move far away.

I keep telling myself “I will have my shit together once I finish university, I will have a car eventually, I will have a two bedroom house fully furnished and I will feel content with my life.” 

At this moment in time I don’t want to go and study, I want to stay in bed and not speak to anybody.

Every single day is repition. I wake up to baby, I go to sleep with baby. 

I never have time for myself and I don’t mind this when my mind is on a level, but sometimes I would love a full day and night off where I could just sleep and lounge all day. 

Breastfeeding doesn’t help as my son doesn’t take a bottle what so ever, and will refuse to have a sippy cup on the night which is my fault because I should of introduced a bottle here and there Of expressed milk, so he would be used to it. 

My anxiety at this moment is so over powering I can’t calm myself down. It’s awful when things get like this.

I have the urge to completely be by myself but that’s impossible being a single mum.

I’ve got a few projects I need to sort out regarding my blog. I might put these things on hold until I get myself straight.

I’ll probably be fine tomorrow, I don’t realise I’m this stressed until I’m wide awake at night destroying myself and nit picking at things I haven’t done and haven’t got compared to my friends and family.

I shudder at the thought of being with anyone because I’m so over protective of my son, but at the same time I crave for a happy family in the future. 

I can’t bring myself to build a relationship or go on dates, which is a clear indication that I’m not ready yet which is fine.
So many things spinning in my head. I just want a break.

I’m putting everything on hold and making my blog private for a while until my mind is better. I have to heal first so I can make authentic posts. 

There’s posts on schedule coming out.

Trying Not To Be The Judgemental Mom

Before I had my little one I was so open minded. 

I still like to consider myself open minded, but some things especially when it involves children, completely blows my mind.

Or, if one mum makes a little comment about something I’m doing, my routine or breastfeeding (9/10 I’m sorry but it is always about breastfeeding!), or about why they do controlled crying and why I should, how co-sleeping is bad and why I shouldn’t pick up my son, the list goes on.. – Back to point – I’ll find myself nit picking or judging how they do things with their child.

And I hate doing that because I do believe that everyone brings up the way they want to bring their child up, with their knowledge, their morals and what they believe in.

I would consider myself as a really nature-earth mum aka hippie! 

I like to think of things biologically.

Biologically, I believe as mothers, we are meant to have our children close to us. They’ve been in the womb for 9 months which is cushy and cosy!

So it’s mind blowing to me when people – especially the older generation – are so quick to tell mothers to leave their baby when they are crying because ‘they’ll make a rod for their own back’ even though that newborn cannot fend for itself or even communicate.

I hate societal views on parenting it really does not make sense. 

As mothers we have instincts and we know what’s best for our children, so why are people so quick to tell us what they think is best for our child? 

There has been times where I have questioned the way I do things.

Am I being too soft? Will my child be more independent if I just did controlled crying for goodness sake. Maybe I am always picking him up, maybe I should wean him off breastfeeding he is over one now?

That is only because of other people’s comments. 

But I am telling you once I do deep research. Once I gather my evidence I’m prepared to justify myself In effective ways.

One of the main things I find myself being judgemental about (recently) is the disapline of children.

I mean I’m still finding the best way for disapline, but constantly hearing mothers shout at their child, or telling them to go away or constantly telling them “no, no, no” but not giving them any other attention really irritates my soul.

Of course there’s times when you have no choice but to say no. 

For example my son is fascinated by the oven. He’s also fascinated by plugs for goodness sake. 

So I have to tell him “no!” Because when I’ve said other things such as “ouch burny!” he will quickly poke it and blow his hand and smile so he thinks it’s a game, which is so cute but on a serious level it’s not funny because he could seriously get hurt.

Also seeing children in winter with no socks on in their pushchairs or without a blanket irritates me. There just is no need.. This is what I mean by trying not to be the judgemental mum I wish I could shut off that part of me.

I am not the perfect mum. I question myself daily and I lack confidence but doing research has helped my confidence and I feel like I’m doing an okay job with my little one.

I think everyone does a great job with their child, and everyone has to do what’s best for their family.

I hope no one is offended by this post!

Love,

Louise oxoxo

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Shedding Negativity and Removing Unhealthy People From Your Life.

I hope you’re having a great day so far.

After some lazy days, I feel grounded and it really got me thinking about how I’ve changed as a person and how I view things now, compared to a few years ago.

As we get older I think we tend to not tolerate as much as we did when we were younger, naive and hopefull.

We all have instincts, but we never really follow our gut. Majority of the time when you have an off vibe with someone, feel like you can’t trust them you’re normally right. 

It’s harder with family because they’re blood. It’s harder to cut all ties with them, and if your family is anything like mine, they always suggest that family should stick together. But should they stick together if they’re toxic, self-centred and two faced about each other?

Before I left home and began my journey into mother hood, I would just believe what anybody would say. I did consider myself as very mature for my age, but I’d always give people chances and I would second guess my instincts for another persons perspective of that person.

Looking back now, even though I have no regrets, I can say that my instinct has always been accurate. If I feel funny about someone normally that person is someone who is going to cause trouble or drama in my life or turn out to be someone I can’t trust.

Also, when I was younger I used to hold grudges against people. Now, I simply do not want to waste time overthinking about the situation, to make myself even more annoyed and irritated of the outcome. There’s no logic in that. 

If I find myself to overthink about a situation where it involves someone, I will bite my tongue and get everything out when I’ve calmed down. So I nip it in the bud.

Sometimes in life it’s hard to get rid of negative people in your life, especially if you’re related or if you’ll constantly end up seeing this person frequently, but if they’re interfering, two faced, you could never trust them with your information and they are just negative people who like to talk negatively about other people, why would you associate yourself with that?

The people you associate yourself with, the more you turn out like them, even if you don’t mean to. You end up picking up traits, and you end up thinking negatively the way they do.

I always think whenever I have to cut people out of my life, no matter how hard it is, I’d rather go through the pain of it now and get it over and done with, than later.

Just believe that you deserve to be happy. Of course you do.

Love,

Louise oxoxo

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Akoma Black Soap, Raw Shea Butter and Detox Shea Butter Soap – First Impressions

Well Hello Lovelies,

I hope everything is going well for you!

I’m excited to write about these products and I just pray that these products actually work to improve the scars on my skin and to keep my acne at bay.

I ordered:


The African Black Soap made in Ghana. I read a lot about the benefits of using African Black soap, and it has a lot of ingredients which are great for the skin. So I thought to give it a try.


This lathers up lovely, and smells earthy. The scent isn’t strong at all. I was shocked with how well it lathers if I’m honest. I used this along with my African sponge that I ordered on eBay, and it really helped me exfoliate my shoulders where I also have scarring. 

Afterwards, I didn’t feel like it dried up my skin – like it did with others when I’ve read on reviews on black soap – my skin was literally squeaky clean, as in if I rubbed my skin it was completely fresh.
I even liked the feel of it on my skin better than my tea tree soap that I get from Holland and Barrets because the tea tree soap is extremely drying. 


I will say though, I have severe dermatitis on my hand, and the soap did sting my hand.. So maybe any cuts just be mindful of if you do try this soap.


The Detox Shea Butter Soap with Green Clay. It says on the website ___ but I got this because of the benefits of the Shea butter, it’s supposed to brighten your skin and improve the appearance of scars.


I haven’t used his yet because im going to give at least a month using the African black soap, or I might use this twice a week. It smells delicious though it actually reminds me of limes.


I love how it says it removes impurities from the skin, and how it boosts lifeless skin. I’m definitely going to try this soap after using the black soap for at least a month.

Raw Shea Butter – again for the pure reason it’s supposed to help the appearance of scars and improves the appearance of your skin.



Ignore the dents, I was just so eager to try it haha!

I used this after I used the black soap, and it was hard to get out of the container I’m not going to lie, and I wasn’t sure about how much to use because it’s really thick. 

I used about a sploge of it on my face and another on my body and it really does go a long way.

Like I said because it’s raw Shea butter the consistency is thick and it is hard to get out the container, but once you spread it a lot goes a long way. 

My skin feels so smooth after using the Shea butter, and even though it has an earthy smell it still smells lovely.


The reviews online do say it feels heavy to wear during the day, and I would agree. It did feel a little heavy, but if im indoors all day or if I’m not going anywhere major the feeling doesn’t bother me as long as it’s improving my skin.

I’ve read into the use of Shea butter and acne & acne scars, but I sort of put it off. I once ordered raw Shea butter on eBay, but the Shea butter on eBay burned my skin (however I was using an acne treatment at the time, prescribed by the doctor) so it really put me off.

Because I’ve been using the Garnier Cleansing Milk and Toner (read my review here), my acne has actually improved and I’m seeing the texture of my skin and improving too. It’s just the scars that are left which are annoying.

I’ll be writing an up to date review in a months time on these products and I’ll include pictures.

Read my acne scar post here (pictures are included) 

Also here’s the website to have a look at the products they sell. 

If you’ve tried any of these products, please let me know in the comments!

Love,

Louise oxoxo

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Get to Know Me Tag!

I’ve been bingeing on YouTube, and saw all these tags and thought it’ll be fun to do one for my blog.

I haven’t got a YouTube channel so I thought I’d just do the tag on here.

I mean I haven’t actually been tagged by someone, I’m just doing this out of fun.

At the end I’ll be tagging a few bloggers if they’re happy to participate!

Feel free to tag me in any of these tag questions because I find them so fun to do.

Hope you enjoy.

QUESTIONS:
1. What is your middle name?

Anne. How plain! 

2. Share you favorite subject in high school.

I loved English literature, I love books and I loved reading and analysing Mice and Men.

3. What is your favorite drink?

Tea, I live for tea. Milky and two sugars.

4. What is your favorite song at the moment?

Unforgettable by French Montana ft Swae Lee

5. What would you (or have you) name your children?

Kylan, the original spelling was Kylon and it had such a spiritual meaning when I read up on it. I also love the names Logan, Alias, Amerie, Olivia and Aria.

6. Have you participated in any sports?

I used to love running and would participate in long run in primary school lol! But wasn’t interested in sport what so ever in secondary.

7. What is your favorite book?

My favourite fiction book is ‘The memory keepers daughter’ by Kim Edwards, it’s such an amazing book. And my favourite life changing books are ‘The Secret and The Power’ which are both sequel books by Rhonda Byrnes.

8. What is your favorite color?

Between Beige and Stone.

9. What is your favorite animal?

Elephants.

10. What is your favorite perfume?

Daisy by Marc Jacobs 

11. What is your favorite holiday?

Christmas, I love seeing my son open his presents and the amazing decorations, also the food. Let’s not forget the food.

12. On a scale from 1 – 10, rate your childhood.

8. I had a great upbringing my mom is an amazing woman and we had wonderful days out.

13. Have you been out of the country?

I’ve only been to Spain but I’m hoping to take my little one to different countries when he’s a bit older.

14. Do you speak any different languages?

Unfortunately no!

15. Do you have any siblings?

I have two brothers and one sister.

16. What is your favorite store?

Next for clothes and Aldis for food shopping haha.

17. What is your favorite restaurant?

Frankies & Bennies!

18. Did you like school?

I actually loved school especially on a Thursday when I’d have childcare or English.

19. Who are some of your favorite YouTubers?

Shirley B. Eniang, Chanel Ambrose, Sara K and Bubzvlogz.

20. What is your favorite movie?

The Vow

21. What are some of your favorite tv shows?

The Kardashians, Mob Wives, The Real Housewives of Atlanta and Orange County and Eastenders.

22. PC or mac?

PC 

23. What phone do you have?

iPhone 6

24. How tall are you?

5’6ft and a half!

25. Do you have any pets?

No, but recently our family dog passed away from old age he lived until he was 17 years old! He was such a well loved dog.
Well I hope you enjoyed getting to know me a little bit more.

I’d like to tag: thepearlylife to do this

Hope you’ve enjoyed getting to know me a little better.


Love,

Louise oxoxo

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My Birth Experience – Share Your Experiences In The Comments

Hi lovelies,

I was thinking about my birth experience and a few people at play groups have asked me what my birth was like, so I thought I would write my experience and I’m hoping you’d share yours too!

My due date was the 15th of March 2016, but he arrived on the 22nd of February 2016, he was born just under 4 weeks early bless him.

It was a Monday when he was born, and on the Saturday my family threw me a surprise baby shower.

I had no clue what so ever, so I turned up with no makeup on, with scruffy clothes on and I looked like a hot mess. I was so unhappy because I was extremely uncomfortable and I kept crying on and off that day.

After the baby shower when everyone went, my cousin took one look at me and said “you look like you’re about to cry”. That was it, I started crying my eyes out, I couldn’t stop! I was so upset and uncomfortable. She then said to me “you’re ready to have this baby, I have a feeling you’re in slow labour”.

So on the Monday, my waters broke at 5am. 

I woke up in a puddle of water, I was questioning if I actually wet myself, so I popped up to my cousin and told her what had happened etc. She told me to go and wake my mom and that I need to contact the hospital because my labour could move very quickly.

So I woke my mom up. I had no pains what so ever, so we made breakfast and I was convinced that I would be like Kourtney Kardashian, I would be able to gracefully have a shower, pace myself, do my makeup.

No. Pain began to hit. And it was all in my back and it was no joke.

This was around 8am. I had phoned the hospital at 6:30am explaining my waters had gone, and they told me to go to the hospital for 9am If I’m not getting any pains and to my hospital bag because they would keep me in because I was 36 weeks.

So this pain was horrendous. I like to think I have a high pain tolerance level but labour pains are unexplainable.

Every contraction was exhausting from the get go. My back felt like it was breaking. 

When we first got to the hospital the midwife said to me “it might be a water infection” I completely lost it and shouted at her to check me because this was definitely not a water infection! 

I was 3cm dialated when they checked me. I went to run a bath to help the pain, but I couldn’t get comfortable because of my back.

I had signs a few weeks before of my mucus plug, but during my labour the full show was there.

When I was 5cm that’s when they moved me into a room and that’s when I could use the gas and air which was amazing.

I also had pethadine which made me very sleepy. 

Because my blood pressure was so high, and because my little ones heart beat was mimicking mine, I had to be laid on a bed with a monitor on my stomach, a heartbeat monitor on my baby’s head and also someone checking my blood pressure constantly.

When I got to 7cm, every time a contraction was coming my whole body would shake and I’d feel cold. My mom was scared that there was something wrong.

I opted for an epidural at some point and I had the man tell to me about having it and what he was going to do. If I’m honest the pethadine made me so drowsy I kept falling asleep on him and I remember saying “I am listening, I’m just closing my eyes” 😂.

I was very close to having a c-section.  

I got to 10cm very quickly, and that’s when I shot up alert. I needed to push! 

The midwife tried stopping me before checking me, and my mom stopped me because of what the midwife said. 

Because I was strapped to the bed and I couldn’t get up to move, the sensation was so intense I even begged her to let me go to the bathroom.

She checked me, and as I looked at her she was smirking and I knew she could see my baby.

She then gave me the ok to push, so every time she told me to push I did. It was so exhausting but at the same time my body had the urge to push it was such an unexplainable feeling.

When his head came out, I remember when I was pregnant people called this the ring of fire, and I would honestly say that was the second most painful thing in my whole labour, but it didn’t last long.

Soon after his whole body came out and we could hear him cry instantly. My baby was finally born at 1:31pm.

They put him on me for skin to skin and this was the most amazing moment of my whole life.

His eyes opened to take a look at me and I instantly fell in love.

He took his first feed and latched on straight away. It was all amazing, but also very quick because he was drowsy.


A lot of moms said that they needed an injection to deliver their placenta, but my midwife just massaged my stomach and it sort of just came out. I didn’t see it and didn’t want to if I’m honest. 

I was examined and was told I needed stiches. I had a lot of grazing and a 2nd degree tear. 

They numbed me which was actually the 1st most painful thing in my labour experience because the injections stung severely, and then they stitched me up.

The stitches were uncomfortable but they were the last thing on my mind. 

Afterwards they gave me tea and toast and told me that I could get up for a shower. Looking at my stomach flappy, and different now that I had given birth was so weird.

Throughout hospital, I struggled with breastfeeding. I felt that I didn’t get the right support in hospital but I got great support once I got home.

What was your experience when giving birth? Did everything go to plan?

Leave your comments below, I love hearing different experiences.

Love,

Louise oxoxo

Nu Skin AP24 Whitening Toothpaste Review: Let’s Be Real..

When you look online for this toothpaste you get one or two reviews but not a lot..

You also tend to find all the reviews follow with people wanting you to buy this product from them, because Nu Skin is a self-employed company which is great for some.

I used to work for Nu-Skin and I had a couple of up-lines, I didn’t get sales and I was recommended to promote products even though I had never tried them myself.

Anyway, I quit representing them because it was time consuming, I wasn’t getting anywhere and it was’t enjoyable for me. Some people however are very successful doing this, but it just wasn’t what I wanted to do.


I ended up with this product and ended up trying it anyway, because I ordered a batch for my cousin who decided she didn’t want it in the end. 

It was sitting around in my cupboard for ages, until I actually was running out of toothpaste, so I decided to just use it.

The toothpaste tastes minty but not as intense as Colgate if that makes sense..

It does however really deep clean your teeth. As in your teeth feel extremely clean afterwards.

I mean I didn’t notice any difference in the whiteness of my teeth at first, until 2 weeks into using it. 

My teeth are not dramatically whitened, they are probably a shade or two whiter than before.

Ive been using the toothpaste over two months now, and they’re not getting whiter. I also have another tube to get through, so if I find a difference once I open the second tube, I will definitely update this post. 

The tube of toothpaste does last a long time, like I said I’ve been using it for two months and I’m only half way down.

I think the way Nu Skin representers promote the product along with promotional pictures of edited people with whiter teeth is false, however I know that to get sales people will exaggerate the product. 

I would say it’s worth a try, but only when you have spare cash. I wouldn’t exactly recommend this product or be so enthusiastic to tell everyone about the toothpaste, only if my teeth looked professionally whitened, then I’d be excited.

This is not a bash at Nu skin or the toothpaste by the way, because I feel really mean! 

But I have to be honest, and looking online there isn’t many authentic reviews out there without also trying to sell viewers the product.

I wish I could link where to purchase this product, but there’s plenty of Nu skin representers especially when you search on Instagram and Facebook. 

Here’s the website to Nu skin 

I hope I don’t sound too cold! No hard feelings,

Love,

Louise oxoxo

The ‘Eventful’ Day, 

Do you ever get one of those days when nothing seems to be going right?

You wake up in a good mood, and something wrong happens, or you just wake up feeling ‘off’ for no reason? 

Today was one of those days.

I couldn’t find my bank card, I needed to top up on gas and electric, I needed to go shopping because I wanted to create my own pasta sauces after being inspired by a tv programme on bbc one.. I had a ‘busy’ day that I was actually looking forward to.

I sat there crying over this stupid bank card. Ridiculous and pathetic. What’s even more pathetic is it was my 4th bank card that I ordered.. In a month.

I just kept losing my bank cards and I literally thought there was something wrong with me.

Anyway. I walked into the kitchen and it was in one of my draws. Perfect! The day can go back to normal.

Well no. It didn’t.

So I got myself ready and my little boy ready, were literally about to go out the door when I see rain. No problem! I have the rain cover, which is always underneath the pram!

But, no it wasn’t under the pram. It was in the boot of my mums car.

So nearly having a breakdown because I was meant to go food shopping, top up my gas and electric and post some important letters, also tackling a screaming tired toddler. I was sweating buckets pretending to be Wonder Woman.

I called my mum who was supposed to be on the way to Sheffield, instead she was just around the corner which was pure luck. So the rain cover situation was sorted.

At Asda, when I finished shopping – I bought way more than what I needed for tonight’s spontaneous dinner – I was at the check out, anxiously thinking.. Well how the hell am I going to fit this all underneath this pram. I don’t have a car currently, and Asda is literally around the corner anyway.

I wasn’t prepared to put anything back because what I bought was useful.. Not.

So I’m on the floor at the self-checkout tackling my shopping, cramming everything underneath the pram. It wasn’t working out. Why was this morning so crap!

Thankfully, a lady approached me and saw my struggles. She worked at asda, and unpacked my 12 pack of wipes (because I just couldn’t settle for the odd two packs), and managed to pack them individually under my pram. 

Basically, she found ways and means to pack my multi-purchases and I was so thankful.

On my way home, in the rain, feeling quite proud of myself, a DPD van decided to skid around the corner and of course the biggest puddle possible was next to the pathway. The back of my legs got drenched, and I just felt sorry for myself. 

My shopping was safe apart from the box of washing powder, but I just about made it home before that disintegrated.

Amazing day so far.

So I’m cooking dinner and experimenting as if I’m a 5* chef. I pull the spaghetti out of the cupboard, and the dry jerk seasoning container comes flying out, with the lid hanging off and jerk seasoning gets all in my eyes, half over what I was preparing and all over the floor. 

Not a f#%*+ng problem! My eyes absolutely burning also attempting to find the dust pan and brush before my toddler decides to burn his mouth off with the seasonings. 

To top it all off I smashed my last bowl because again, like the bank card situation, I’m just incapable of being normal and have to smash 2 other bowls in a month.

Today wasn’t an awful day, it was just an incredibly unlucky day!

But, I’m happy that my home is tidy and I was eventually happy when my family members came down to see me and my little one.

I hope your day went better than mine!

Haha.

Love,

Louise oxoxo